The Humerus Daily

PHILADELPHIA, PA—Three student groups—JeffAMA, JeffDET, and SNAHP—will be holding a forum on Tuesday in which community leaders will be fielding questions from students on lowering patient costs, the groups announced. The students in attendance, whose projected debt burden is roughly equivalent to the GDP of a small island nation, are expected to grill the invited speakers on topics including medical debt relief, legislative measures to address lowering patient costs, and the impact of rising costs on health outcomes, all while enjoying food paid for by their own absurdly high tuitions. 

“We’re excited by the prospect of escaping our own debts by immersing ourselves in that of others,” one JeffDET representative said. “It’s kind of like reading a depressing book or watching a sad movie to escape the drudgery of our own meaningless existence.” 

“I’m just going for the food,” said one M1 who plans on attending. “There aren’t any groceries in my apartment right now, so this could not be happening at a better time for me. Could use more napkins and paper plates, though.” 

The panel is scheduled for 5:30 to 6:30 p.m. in Hamilton 505. Those interested in attending are encouraged to RSVP at forms.office.com/r/RetEN7sSpm.