PHILADELPHIA, PA—In a discovery fit for legend, an SKMC MS2 has been revealed as the fabled, long-lost heir to the AnKing throne, according to sources close to his royal highness. The student, Charles Windsor (no relation), stumbled upon this remarkable information while procrastinating for an exam by rifling through some forbidden scrolls on the fourth floor of Scott Memorial Library. Our sources claim the scrolls showed a winding lineage, allowing the student to trace his ancestry backwards through such noted figures as Simba, Robert Baratheon, Aragorn, and Nero (yes, that one).
“It’s a bit crazy to think about,” said the king, whose newfound powers include the ability to regurgitate large volumes of clinically useless information on command. “I always noticed my spacebar-pressing finger was much faster and stronger than everyone else’s, but I never expected this. I wonder what my first edict will be.”
A coronation is planned for next week at Buckingham Palace. Palace officials were unavailable for comment due to their handling of whatever distracting nonsense the royal family is up to now.
The Humerus Daily 
Leave a comment