PHILADELPHIA, PA – With exam season looming for many students, a pressing question has emerged: when is too much halal cart a problem? Our campus culinary correspondent, Jordan Ramsey, spoke with a second-year medical student following his 12th halal cart pilgrimage during his exam week. “Tomorrow will be different, I’m sure of it,” he claimed, lamb and rice spewing from his mouth between syllables.
In pursuit of the truth behind his addictive wares, we sought an audience with the venerable halal cart maestro himself on 11th and Walnut Street. His reaction to the surge in clientele? “I love those guys! They keep my chicken and lamb supply empty and my Venmo account full!” When Ramsey inquired about ordering a shrimp and rice plate, the man froze, then shut down further inquiries, seemingly offended by the very idea someone of someone asking for such a mythical item.
The anonymous student elaborated on the cart’s allure, stating, “It’s Big Halal Cart, man. This is such a shady industry because they don’t care who they have to sell to as long as it doesn’t hurt their bottom line. Sure, I chose to order 12 times this week! But seriously, ask yourself – do you think I really have another choice as a grown person about where to eat after class?” As of press time, the student was last spotted hanging around the cart for his 18th helping of the week.
The Humerus Daily 
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